I don't know what to feel right now. I have only ever felt what I feel "in-love" means for a long period of time for two people. One of them has effectively taken my heart and stomped on it. The other well it seems that "being friends" means that I am his friend.
I have been fairly sick for the last week or so. It would seem that it doesn't matter to my "friends".
I went to IHOP the other day and asked my "friend" La Mar to come have coffee with me since he was in town for work anyway he said he was tired and that I could come spend the night with him if I wanted. I told him that I thought he should just suck it up and have coffee with me he then said that he had already taken his medicine and it was making him tired but he would leave the door open for me if I changed my mind. All I wanted was for him to be my friend just this once. It seems all he wanted was to have sex with me.
He is refusing to pick a life and frankly I just want to start over. He is crushing what is left of me.
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