Want

So last night I decided that I wanted to get drunk......And after I got drunk( which was pathetically easy might I add) I started on this rant about how much I hate certain things about myself....Like how I prefer a good novel to a magazine, How I wish I could just be like the other girls my age who get what-ever they want because they shut up.......How I wish I could view love the way every one else does...you know the stupid flowers, the chocolates, the hearts and all that bullshit....Instead I view love....real love as being able to have the guts to tell the person that you love the truth even if it means making them hate you.....because in the end I believe that the truth hurts so much less than some pretty little lie........


At the same time I would rather pretend that the person I am slowly and maddeningly falling for is actually accessible to me and that he feels the same although it is completely irrational ........

Why can't I be normal ?? Why do I have to be the ugly duckling amongst my peers??? Does any one know the answer????